I must be insane. As you can probably tell from my inactivity here, I have been fighting on and off with a severe case of writer's block for the last year and a half to two years. I can't write. The scenes and characters which used to so vividly race through my head now glimmer dimly in the recesses of my mind. The only true glimpses I have of my words surface when I'm taking a shower or curled up in bed. When I get to a piece of paper or a computer, they vanish. I try to grab onto them and hold on, but they slip through my fingers like water through a sieve. I forget what I was thinking. It's as if they never were.
It's frustrating. Aggravating. Stressful. Numbing. I hate it. I hate the fact I am so out of touch with a pasttime I couldn't get enough of. I miss the passion, the eagerness, the desire to write and write some more. The characters, the worlds, the ideas exploded. And now all is silence.
So how did I talk myself into actually doing NaNo this year? Why? The year I can't possibly win because I don't have 50,000 words in me, let alone 1,667 in any given day. But I am here. I am standing in the face of this writer's block unwilling to budge. I signed up last night and spent a good chunk of time working on my profile to try to get into the spirit of NaNo. I will write 1,667+ words a day even if it means most of them look a little like this:
"This is going to be crap. What am I doing trying to write a novel? I have characters, sure, from the days gone by when I could actually see them and interact with them. I have a basic story premise. But can I write it? I doubt it. What do you want to do, Thorberta? You don't know? Me neither. How about I write about you not knowing what to do next in this story and use up some of my word count? That'll work? Great!"
Ask me how I'm doing on getting in those words or see for yourself. Pester me on Facebook. Demand to know my favourite character in this story. Ask me to explain something so I have to think about it. Please. Keep me accountable. I want to love writing again.
Thank you. xoxo