Thursday, October 31, 2013

Muse Abuse

My second Flash Fiction piece.  I dedicate it to all of you writers braving NaNoWriMo this year!

Finish That Thought #17 (Judge's Comments)
Prompt: "What, did you think it was going to be all rainbows and puppies?" 
Special Challenge: Include a mythical creature and a holiday, did you think it was going to be all rainbows and puppies?  Writing a story is hard work.  You have to have a plot.  A theme.  Characters developed.  Where are they going?  Why?  How?  What are they hoping to accomplish?  What’s the problem and how will it resolve?

Did you seriously think you could sit down with paper and pen and “just write” a story?  Of course you started out well.  We all do.  The idea is fresh and I’m motivated.  But after a few paragraphs, maybe a few chapters since you seem to be so gifted, it gets wishy-washy and becomes mumbo-jumbo.  Look at what you just wrote.  It doesn’t make any sense!  Who is this Jaed who waltzed in on page seven and why is the dragon suddenly bi-polar?

I don’t care that you’ve finished a novel.  That doesn’t make you worth reading.  What, you think you can force me to cooperate now that you’ve made a complete mess of this one?  More coffee isn’t going to help.  Staring at what you just wrote isn’t going to magically finish that sentence.  It’s been 19 hours since you’ve slept and you’re only on day four.  

Sure, go back and edit.  Re-edit your re-editing for all I care.  You can make that fifth chapter as pretty as you want, but it isn’t going to do you much good if you can’t get chapter six to flow right.  I told you to jot down your ideas in an outline, but did you listen to me?  No.  Now you can’t remember if he was supposed to propose on Christmas or Valentine’s Day.  Honestly, I hope he doesn’t propose at all.  He started out okay, but man what a conflicted, love-sick puppy he’s become!  I can’t stand him or comprehend how you can still think he’s a catch.  You’ve broken that backbone he was supposed to have (yeah, I remember you describing him like that and wish you’d hold him to it) and he’s done so many out-of-character things by now that you should just reinvent the guy.

One week left to finish this rotten novel.  No, I’m not going to come back from tea yet.  I still have a cookie to eat.  And perhaps pour myself another cup of tea.  You need me to help with the epic battle?  No dice, I can’t stand the smell of blood.  Good luck, though.  Don’t accidentally kill off your main character.  If I get you a cup of cocoa, will you stop glaring at me like that? 
Oh, hello.  Is it time already?  Let me put down my newspaper and we can discuss strategy.  Two hours until the deadline?  Piece of cake.  Now to put all these pieces together that you’ve conveniently thrown all over the place.  Roll up your sleeves and get off Facebook, for pete’s sake.  No one cares about your pathetic NaNoWriMo complaints.  You’re the bright one who wanted to do it in the first place.

By the way, congratulations.


  1. I totally know how you feel. Writing is hard. And sometimes it feels as if my own motivation is beating me up! But it will...maybe......come to something. And if not, at least we can get the words out of our heads :)

    1. I really dislike it when my muse decides to be as snarky as this one. But as you say, even if we don't get any help from our inspiration, at least we can through scenes on paper!