Finish That Thought: #2-2 (Judge's Comments)
Prompt: [Many days had] gone by,and [he] remained [enslaved] in the [small cabin].
Special Challenge: Change the weather as the story progresses.
Half the day had gone by, and I remained sprawled across the thinly
papered table in nothing but a stiff, backless nightshirt. Twice a
woman in scrubs came to check on me and let me know the doctor would “be
with me shortly.” I folded my hands over my abdomen and gazed at the
florescent flickering over my head, silently counting the dead flies
trapped inside. One, two, three, four, nope that one twitched, four,
‘That’s boring.’ I rolled my head to stare at the
wall next to me and was surprised to see a window with a nice view of
the parking lot. ‘That’s funny, I didn’t notice this room had a view
when I walked in.’ I switched from flies to cars and made it to 17
before I couldn’t distinguish one from the other anymore. ‘The sun sure
is hot today. I can see the heat just radiating off the hoods.’
was nothing more to see out there so I raised my head a little to look
at the jungle print that ran around the bottom panel of the stark white
room. ‘Aw, what a cute baby elephant. And monkeys, can’t forget the
monkeys. Oh, and there’s a tiger, and a gazelle, and an orangutan, and a
green snake all twisted up in the vines hanging between the palm trees.
I looked out my window again... and blinked. Storm
clouds had rolled in and the rain battered the coloured leaves off the
trees. ‘Wait... the leaves changed colour? It’s Fall? How long have I
been in here? I’m imagining things.’ I went back to examining the
wallpaper. ‘And there’s a whale, and a dolphin, and a jellyfish, and a
lobster, and a starfish...’
A sudden crash jolted me onto my rump
and I consciously tugged the paper about my torso, exposing more and
more of me the more I tried to right it. ‘Oh dear me, I hope no one’s
in the parking lot...’ I frantically turned to the window only to find
snow pelting the glass in large, smearing snowflakes. Snow?!? ‘All
right, that does it-- this doctor is taking too dang long of a time
I swung myself off the table and started stumbling
about the room in search of my clothes, but I couldn’t find them.
Panic constricted my throat. When did they take my clothes? The walls
caved in around me and stars clouded my vision as my world spun.
Trapped in the doctor’s office! Hands emerged from the wall, hundreds
of hands, grabbing my shoulders, groping my feet, and pulling me down,
down, down into the dark abyss and there was nothing I could do. Years
must have gone by and this... this was the end!
“Ms. Keister, I’m sorry to keep you waiting...”
opened my eyes. There was no window, my clothes draped across the
chair, and the parchment gown still covered as little as it ever did.
“Dang right, you are.”